Wedding Night Sex is – good or bad?

Question: I know my fiancee since March we getting married soon, , but we have never met. Also, though we talk but we have never discussed sex. She is a well-educated, girl. But, I don't know how I should start the conversation on sex. Is it okay to have sex on the wedding night with her? Please help. - By Anonymous

Answer by Aanchal Bhatnagar: Thank you for voicing out a concern that haunts many of us. While the wedding night is mentioned as an awaited moment, it can often become a matter of anxiety and nervousness for couples. Perhaps, your confusion is valid and it shows your genuine care. It is good to see that you are concerned about your relationship and your would-be wife, and not forcing things onto her and yourself.

 It seems that you have managed to develop a friendly and respectful relationship with your fiancee, which is commendable. While mutual respect and trust have been developed between you two, you can now subtly begin to initiate a conversation around sex. I assume that it must also be a thought in her mind that she is not able to voice out yet. Perhaps, your slight initiation would also allow her to express her concerns and wishes. It is always healthy to be able to openly share your anxieties and desires about such sensitive themes, since there is no other way your partner can know about it.




Surely, it is difficult to initiate a conversation around sex with your partner, but it is equally important. While your wedding is round the corner, it must be a concern for both of you and a conversation will lessen the anxiety on the wedding day. Perhaps, you can begin by asking her how she wants the wedding and the wedding night to be. The idea is to be able to open a space for free conversation around this theme.
 
To your question, "whether it is good to have sex on the wedding night"; I can only say that there is no good or bad to this. Surely, the wedding night is something that gets imprinted in our minds; however, sex is not the only thing it is dependent on. I feel that the cultural fascination around the wedding night has made it very rudimentary and obvious. However, what is important to remember is that your wedding night is what you want it to be. It can be about sex or about late night chit-chats or a good cuddled sleep or perhaps, a combination of them all. The point being that your wedding night is something that you want it to be and not what you think is 'good' or 'must'.